The Mischievous Mommy

A Collaboration with my Toddler

by Theodore & Ruth Oosterman

Bitterness

The Silent Killer




As a child, I recall my first interaction with the stereotypical grumpy old man and the feeling of absolute bewilderment that quickly followed. Good manners and kindness are character traits that are usually drilled into a child's mind, mine being no exception, so why on earth was an adult acting in a manner that would have rewarded me with a time out? As a 5-year-old, life appeared to be teeming with adventures with the seniors having lived them all. I could not wrap my mind around the concept of them being anything but joyful, these humans who had conquered life with tales to tell. Why were so many of them spending their remaining time being mean to those that loved them?

 I simply could not understand.

As a teenager, I witnessed more and more seniors turn dark and the generation a decade or two younger begin mimicking a similar resentment towards life.It was as if bitterness was a disease that had begun trickling down the generations and no one could hold on to their happiness.

As I entered my twenties the paranoia began. Were you infected overnight? I was now witnessing those a decade older than I become darkened by bitterness and resentment, their joy and spark for life had been snuffed out. It was as if they too dreaded the next sunrise and would rather remain hidden amongst the darkness of the night where vices were well hidden. The dark only mirrored their heart in contrast to the daylight which portrayed the true toxicity and progression of the disease raging inside.

Bitterness. Resentment.

Would it happen to me? Would it happen over night?

Somewhere in my late twenties, wedged in between a few hardships life threw at me, raising young children and putting my passions on hold, it happened.

Seemingly overnight, but not actually if I am to be honest.

I had become what I feared, what I loathed. I was resentful and bitter with those who loved me the most despite my flaws. I became impatient, yelling at my children over spilt milk whereas a few years prior I would have simply made a joke and found joy in their little smiles of relief. I was furious with my partner because he left his wet towel on the bed and tied a knot in the bread bag for what seemed the thousandth time, didn't he know the pressure I was under? Little things had become mountains for no valid reason yet somehow I seemed to find numerous other reasons to justify my anger.

How on earth did I get this way?

Why was I allowing such trivial things to become stumbling blocks for the love I had towards my family, friends and my own life? All of a sudden I was that hypocritical human criticising another's mistakes and wagging my finger at the news saying, “What is happening to this world?” as if it had all changed overnight.

Only the world hadn’t, I had.

I had forgotten to make the choice. I forgot one morning and chalked it up to just a bad day, then a week went by and soon enough the choice was just too hard to make. I felt entitled to be angry and upset because the cards life had been dealing me were unfair and overwhelming. I needed a break from making the choice.

The choice to choose happiness.
To choose joy and positivity.

Bitterness exists in each and every single one of us, just waiting, biding it’s time for the moment we stop making the choice. When we weaken our resolve it seizes control of our hearts, souls and minds, beginning to control us like a puppet and before too long we are no longer in control. We become our own worst enemy as our negativity pushes love out of our lives, distances our children from us and causes them to push back. Let us not forget how it also sets fire to our ambitions and goals while whispering in our ear how incompetent and disappointing we are.

 As it all spirals out of control we place the blame on everything and everyone but ourselves because the blindfold over our eyes has tricked us into thinking we are the only ones in pain. That we are entitled to happiness and are the last to blame when really, we are solely to blame.

Take heed, please, I beg of you. Keep your eyes on those around you and remind yourself that bitterness is a disease that no one is immune to, not even the most joyful and passionate. You are not entitled to happiness, I am sorry to break it to you, but you are not. Happiness is earned every day by making the choice to be positive and when you succeed it banishes bitterness to the darkest corners of your soul where one glorious day it will be expunged forever.

Until then, fight the good battle and do not give up, I beg you. It happens overnight and ever so quickly before you know it the fight to gain your old life back will be a thousand times more daunting than it was to just make the daily choice to be happy.

I am still struggling greatly with the choice as I get caught up in my head about what I deserve and am entitled to when really, my happiness is no one's responsibility but my own and therefore my bitterness is to be blamed on no one else but myself. If you are unhappy, make changes for without a course of action you will only spiral further into the darkness. The simple act of taking control of your life by CHOOSING positivity will only lead to happiness and strengthen your willpower to stay joyful. Surround yourself with positive people who strive for similar things and if it is family that is toxic, love them regardless but encourage them from a distance.

Choosing happiness does not banish depression or sadness but it does infuse your life with positivity as you make the conscious choice to look for the good in life. Depression, anger and sadness are all valid emotions that each of us experience in order to fully appreciate the joy in life, however, bitterness does not fall into that category as it is a disease that will ruin your life.

No one is immune.

The Fierceness of Fragility

Dedicated to all my fragile Queens who are the strongest women I know.



They mistook her fragility for weakness only to learn too late it was the calm before the storm. Her fragility gracefully lay upon her head as a crown of strength that was not only made to fly but would allow her to do so miles higher than those who misjudged her. A butterfly may be one of the earth’s most fragile creatures but the journey it embarks on to become its true self is a monumental feat, let alone the height and distance to which it can soar. Fragility is a strength that allows you to accept who you are in order to be true to that self. Only then will you soar.

A Collaboration with my Toddler(s)

by  Eve, Theodore & Ruth Oosterman

The first ever collaboration between the three of us!

MAKE SURE TO WATCH THE VIDEO TIMELAPSE 

A New Era, A New Normal.

Happy International Woman's Day!

Watercolor painting of a woman struggling to stay afloat.

The first time your little one picks up a crayon and makes the tiniest of marks on a piece of paper life changes as you know it. That little crayon marked paper is quickly framed and proudly displayed, whether on the wall or fridge, a symbol of their growth and creativity. A milestone not only in your child's life but yours as well, they are growing up and finding ways to express their inner self and inviting you along for the journey. 

Then they discover paint, pencil crayons, markers, glue, tape, feathers, glitter... Dear God, the glitter!! Life changes again, that sweet piece of paper turns into countless creations and soon enough everywhere you look there is evidence of your child's creativity.

Now, don't get me wrong this is a beautiful and magical thing. Children have an ability to create without inhibition or self doubt, a trait that should be nurtured carefully. They are also very quick and direct during these artistic sessions cranking out 5 or more a day, while as an adult it would take days or weeks to finish just one! Five absolutely beautiful pieces of artwork that give us a glimpse of their souls is something to never take for granted, however 5 times 365 and your little artist has just produced over 1,825 pieces of art PER year.

Let us dwindle that number down to 1 creation a day, even then that means from the age 1 to 11 you are looking at over 3,650 pieces of art and each one holds a meaning and story of their growth and development. I don't know about you but my kid doesn't sit down and create just 1 piece of art per creative session, for them it isn't about the end result but rather the journey and that means testing out as many things on as many surfaces as possible. The safe estimate of 3,650 is a very reserved number over a 10 year span, where on earth are we meant to store it all?! Space is already a very precious commodity in our home and now with a second child that means those numbers are doubled again. 

The image of us wading chest deep in swirls of paintings, papers and art projects as we go about our daily lives just flitted through my mind.

The fridge and walls can only hold so many pieces of art and from what I know, most parents will frame the special pieces, box up as many as possible and toss those with very little meaning to the child, into the garbage. (Don't even bother saying, "Oh the horror!!" unless you have children over the age of 1, judge all  you want but just you wait)

In my own life I want to encourage their creativity and display it proudly but also live our lives in a way that teaches children order and minimalism so that they appreciate what they do have. To often our society is focused on materialism and that "excess" means wealth, when really it means becoming overwhelmed and unable to focus on the meaningful things in life. 

This forced me to find creative ways to display and store Eve's art that not only nurtures her creativity but boosts her confidence by keeping it out and available, without wading knee deep in creative evidence. I thought I would share a few of those ideas and will continue to do so every time I discover a new way! There are so many options available thanks to the internet, small businesses and through recycling used items that the fridge doesn't need to completely disappear behind paper. (I think we are all getting a little tired of picking up flying paper every time we grab the milk.) 

Alright, enough chit chat. Here are 12 different ways to display (and store) your kid's art without boxing it away in the garage. I've included a few links and a quick blurb about each one. In the coming weeks I plan on expanding on each method with DIY tutorials, helpful links and many more suggestions so stay tuned! (This list will hopefully get you started and inspire you)

#1. FRAME IT

 Let us start off with the most obvious and straightforward method of displaying art, framing. Instead of going to the dollar store grabbing the first frame you see and plopping it on a random surface try to go a step further and see your child's art as potential decor for your home. Displaying it in a prominent spot in your home is a great way to boost their artistic confidence, especially when guests come over and ask about it allowing your child to describe and take pride in their work.

The photo above features 6 paintings created by Eve was she was just 3 years old. She created a ton of watercolor paintings using the Eye Dropper Method that are absolutely stunning and these were her favorite pieces. This technique of painting is so simple absolutely anyone can do it! 

You don't need to bust the bank in order to frame, simply head to your local thrift store or even Ikea and pick out frames that suit their artwork and your home the best! You can go with minimalist frames and create a symmetrical look or buy unique secondhand frames and create a collage. Not to mention, the money you are saving on buying decor can simply go towards framing their work.

 That being said, if your kid is anything like mine you will end up with more than just 6 paintings so what on earth will you do with the other hundred paintings? Well, let's find out!

Sure you could toss all of the extra paintings into a lovingly marked box where they will sit for years unopened, but why not make a book out of them! This will keep them accessible and prolong their life and vibrancy as opposed to a dusty box that can easily get damaged by water or mold. 

Introducing the portfolio book, not just for the "professional artists" but for all artists big and small.

This is a great project to work on with your kids if they are a bit older. Let them choose which pieces go where and in which order, have them quickly explain each piece and make sure to write the description on the back of each piece (Don't forget to date it!).

 Ideally you would do this right after the piece has been created because who has time to sit and do this for stacks of artwork, plus this way it would still be fresh in your child's mind. It might sound difficult but by taking the time to discuss the art in the moment you are expanding their concept of creativity and purpose, then document it and pop it into a sleeve. No more flying papers or tears from damaged artwork after someone's little brother ripped it into a thousand pieces... no one is looking at you Theodore.

What is so amazing about this is that Eve can pull these off the shelf whenever she likes to view them and the acid free sleeves protect her art from sticky fingers and prolongs the lifetime of each piece. We label the books according to the year and somehow 3 years of art has now been organized neatly, fitting into a 12 x 12 shelf. No more being overwhelmed with guilt that her art is floating through the house, unappreciated and without a home. 

Kids can pick up on our emotions better than we can and I firmly believe Eve could sense me getting frustrated with the stacks of paper anywhere and everywhere. I hated the idea she would feel guilty or ashamed her art was being seen as a mess and deter her from any potential creativity. With the portfolio books she can pull them down and we can go through them talking about the stories behind each one and techniques she used. More often than not it inspires her to go sit at her desk and create something new for the book!

So say goodbye to dusty boxes and flying papers, simply buy a few Portfolio books and store your kid's art like a pro. They take up less room than a box, carefully stores all shapes and sizes of art and keeps it organized to boot. 

But what about those paintings they create on canvases you might ask? Continue onward my dear friends. Upwards and onward. 

#3. THE GALLERY WALL

The Gallery Wall is one of my favorite ways to display art. Let me lower your expectations right off the bat so you don't expect some carefully planned template available for download that will display the canvases in symmetrical ways. If you are looking for that just head over to Pinterest where they exist aplenty. 

This Gallery Wall concept is one of spontaneity and creativity that celebrates the uniqueness of each piece! This is great for people renting or those procrastinating on painting their kid's bedroom walls as the art is more colorful and vibrant than any color we could think of as adults. Gather up all of their 3D art, whether on canvases, shirts, rocks etc., toss those things into shadow boxes or simply hang as is. This can be another fabulous project to include your kid in as they help you "design" the wall. New pieces can be added as they are created and moved around as you see fit which is the perk of not having a carefully planned layout! (I know, I know, I am an OCD person's worst nightmare) 

Alright, so now we have a gallery wall, portfolio books filled with art and some specially framed pieces. What could be left? Well, we are just getting started, thanks to the internet and modern day inventions there is no end to new ways to display your kid's art. Next up, shower curtains. Yes you heard me right, shower curtains...

# 4. TURN ART INTO HOME DECOR



The above photos are all pieces of Eve's original artwork, the first being a rug, then a clock, a duvet cover and lastly a throw pillow. 

As previously mentioned, if you are a pretty hand seamstress you can send in your design to different companies that will print it onto fabric and simply take it from there. However, if you are anything like me and find your sewing adventures ending with trips to the ER (okay maybe not THAT bad but you get the point) then maybe this new company is more your style.

The company Picture This, popped up on my Facebook news feed and I adore the idea, I have been a little hesitant to show it to Eve as she will want every article of her clothing made this way but we will get there. I love that the company does not outsource the manufacturing process but keeps it in house and ethically made.

Your child designs their own dress (more options will be available soon) by using the printable template which you just send it in to Picture This for them to manufacture it. 

I definitely foresee some of Eve's dresses, and mine, being designed by her in the near future.

This is an idea I have seen floating around the internet for quite some time now with many different takes on it. It is a great way to take some of your child's favorite pieces and combine them into one frame, therefore their work is celebrated without consuming all of your wall space.

When I do get around to trying this out I plan on using the Framed Collage technique to display Eve's artistic progress. For example, the first picture in the collage would be one of her first ever creations and by the time you get to the last art piece it would be her most recent, showing her evolution as an artist fit neatly into one frame.

As she gets older new Framed Collages could be added to the wall with each one displaying a full year's worth of her
favorite pieces!

This lovely lady, Jen from A Thousand Words,  did a great job on creating Framed Collages for her son's rooms, I simply love her take on it especially the added portraits of each boy. Get creative and see what you can come up with! (Feeling stuck? Head over to pinterest where you will find hundreds of takes on this method)

No, I am not going crazy (alright maybe a little bit) but yes, you read that correctly... edible art.

Nowadays, pretty much any bakery under the sun is able to create edible photo, custom cakes which means your kid's next birthday doesn't have to be a generic Disney themed design (unless that is their thing... I am not going to pretend like I too, don't have a slight obsession with mermaids and superheros)

If your child loves to create why not ask them to "design" their own cake. Have them draw whatever they like, scan the image and send it in to your bakery for their very own edible creation. This method might not display their art for very long but it will sure taste yummy and just imagine your child's face when they see their design, what a great way to boost artistic confidence!

Are homemade cakes more your thing? In case you don't have an edible printer just sitting in your closet you can try out this method that Eve and I used for her last birthday cake. Using edible food markers she enjoyed drawing all over her 4th birthday cake using White Fondant as the coloring surface, READ all about the DIY CAKE CANVAS or just watch the video tutorial below.

I don't know about your toddlers but mine always seems to know exactly which cup is "their" cup, and the kicker... "their" cup never actually seems to be the same and always happens to be the one magically missing or dirty. What fun, so much fun! (said no parent ever)

What better way to actually designate a cup to them by having it covered in their individual artwork? There are a ton of companies out there that offer these services but I have found the most affordable, without losing quality, has been to go through Staples. They have several different options and colors available and if you want to avoid paying shipping just order and pick up at the nearest store.

 What about stickers and magnets? They make fabulous additions to your kid's birthday loot bags that scream creativity while reflecting your child's personality. Don't go with the dollar store stickers or magnets but order custom ones with your child's art as the theme. They don't even have to end up in a loot bag but in the birthday kid's gift bag instead!

 If you aren't into custom ordering then create DIY magnets by gluing mini printed copies of your child's art to magnet sheets and use those to hold up their latest original art pieces to the fridge.

Honestly, the sky is the limit, I'll be revisiting and expanding on these ideas with another blog post dedicated to the multitude of possibilities!

A Collaboration with my Toddler

by Eve & Ruth Oosterman




Two years. 

Two years of collaborating with Eve and I still can't even put into words just how much this experience has brought us closer. But as usual, I'll do my best.

Eve has been creating all sorts of things her entire life (all 4 years of it), evolving into this remarkable little artist in her own right. I can say I genuinely envy her skills and her ability to paint so carefree, full of passion and drive without a smidgen of doubt. She has definitely taught me not only more about art than I could have ever imagined, but life itself.

 We have come a long way from our original collaborations that involved Eve using a Tombow Brush pen. 




Even though we had every color possible of Tombow brush pen, Eve was obsessed with the color black and loved the stark contrast it made on the white paper. We used this method of collaboration for quite some time as Eve's vocabulary was still evolving and the drawings she handed me to collaborate with were very much abstract in method. Once I could make sure she was capable of painting in one general area for longer than 2 minutes I let her have full access to the paint. 



Our Collaborations began to take on all sorts of color from Eve's paint, the possibilities were limitless. It was amazing to watch her grasp the concept of color theory firsthand, although I love organized crafts there is nothing quite like unstructured creativity! I am convinced that is when they learn the most simply by having access to supplies to create endless opportunities. 




Soon enough Eve's vocabulary exploded and we went from taking turns to painting side by side while discussing techniques and story lines the piece was taking on. There is a very fine line between equal creative participation and one person overpowering the other's contributions, something I am still learning the balance to.



 For a huge portion of 2015 I was pregnant with Eve's little brother, Theodore, and suffering from Hypermeseis so our collaborations came to a stand still. (although Eve continued painting on her own) Finally feeling back to myself, mentally and physically, 2016 has brought our collaborations to a whole new level. They have evolved immensely as Eve and I learn new ways to create together. Our latest is story telling, every night before bed we take out our sketchbook and illustrate the stories we imagine. 




Some of our paintings are even based on these stories! Our story telling has taught me more and more about the importance of that fine line when collaborating with a child. It is never, ever about the end result, the journey MUST be why you choose to collaborate. Children's imaginations are absolutely priceless and must be protected at all costs, always encouraged and never smothered. There are many times that I bite my tongue when Eve grabs black paint and covers half of what we just did or takes us down a creative road I never would have chosen myself... but time and time again I am proven wrong. Her way, no matter how much it conflicts with my ideas, has always been the best way. This is the gift I value to no end, she has shown me techniques, ideas, concepts, etc. that I would never have thought of myself. That whole bit that Picasso said about having to relearn how to paint as a child is completely true and a lesson I am blessed to learn every time I sit down to create with Eve.  




Which is why our latest piece, "Reflection" is perfect in my eyes. I have been teaching Eve about reflections both in real life and in painting. (For example, if there is a bright moon in your painting then certain parts of the ground will show this light reflected, especially if there is a body of water) This piece started out with us using acrylics on a wooden panel with no real direction, just painting for fun. Painting with no purpose can be very eye opening and often will take on a life of it's own when certain images pop out of random brushstrokes.

About halfway through a landscape began forming and when we were all finished I asked Eve what she saw. She told me she saw a reflection of trees and the sun setting in a purple sky. Without wanting to overstep my creative portion I added some water ripples and definition to where the trees were, although I know I could go much further I just don't want to. Eve thinks it's perfect as is and so do I, which is exactly what collaborating is to be about. 

I have included the video down below, it is much longer than the majority of our time lapse video because I included some of the audio. While I usually document the process this time I went a step further to give you guys a little sneak peak at the behind the scenes, the bits of conversation that directs the collaborative journey. 

Eve painted this for her little brother Theo.

Enjoy!